FlurbCo Makes History with Pizza as a Service (PzasS)
In today's tech industry, it seems like everything you can imagine has been offered as an "as a service" cloud-based venture: Infrastructure as a Service, Platform as a Service, Security as a Service, etc. This is all well and good, but all of it fails to solve the central issue facing humanity today: pizza. Let's say you have friends coming over to remotely witness a televised sporting event, and you want pizza. You lost track of the time, and your guests are bound to arrive any minute. Carryout or delivery will take 30 minutes or longer, but you're hungry for pizza now.
After years of development and fine-tuning, FlurbCo is now proud to offer Pizza as a Service (PaaS), the virtual solution to all your pizza conundrums. No waiting. No greasy pizza boxes to dispose of. No worrying about how much to tip. Just warm, delicious pizza delivered straight to you via the cloud.
The Process
The process is easy. Just sign up for your account or use your FlurbMail address (congrats, you're already signed up!). Select the number of pizza volumes you would like to instantiate and the toppings for each. Then click the "create" button, and that's it. Your pizza is immediately available to enjoy in the cloud.
Your guests will have a ball with their virtual pizza, and if more friends arrive, that's not a problem at all. Just instantiate a new pizza volume for the late arrivals. Also, congrats on having all those friends. Good for you!
And since each virtual slice is a nonfungiable token (NFT), no two pizza experiences are alike, nor can they be described as alike since, from a legal standpoint, that is impossible.
To ensure the highest possible quality, FlurbCo has hired the very finest old-world pizza chefs to operate bit-mining rigs to search for very large prime numbers for our pizzas. These artisans spend their days (and nights as well as most federal holidays) hand-rolling complex cryptography calculations until the perfect prime number appears, plump and ripe, and not a moment before its time. As with any pizza operation, it all comes down to the ingredients. As everyone knows, you can't make good pizza primes without the most important ingredient of all: New York City tap water. The rest is just ones and zeros, egghead stuff. We don't want to bore you with it.
Pizza as a Service is just the beginning. As a matter of fact, this is part of an expanding line of non-nutritive victuals foods from FlurbCo. Running late to the movie but you still want popcorn? Order up some virtual refreshments in the cloud. No fuss no muss, and you won't have to worry about the urgent need to empty your bladder during the climax of the film. Worried that a slice of cheesecake is just going straight to your thighs? You can enjoy our new line of NFT desserts without guilt or concern about your expanding midsection. Our truly sinful virtual tiramisu is no sin at all and a bargain $12.95 a slice. Look for these new tasty treats later this year at our Pudding Sweatshop chain of family restaurants.
